Hello.

It's been quite a while, hasn't it? I missed you too, old friend. I know you've been waiting for my final entree. I was nervous. This is a goodbye. I was never good with goodbyes.

The knowledge we might never see each other again. The necessity to find the right words. The bittersweet conflict between the desire to stay and the longing for home. So, where to start?

I came to Estonia to work as a volunteer. Acquiring new skills wasn't my main motivation. It was the desire to get out of my comfort zone. Something I've always struggled with. Yet I think it's the best way I have to better understand myself. Having difficulties, and facing them, brought me so much more than the easy childhood I lived. So I wanted to jump in the unknown.

Of course, it wasn't the only reason I came to Estonia. I always enjoyed nature, my awakening about the environmental crisis helped me appreciate nature so much more. I wanted, even in a very small scale, help protect our environment and learn how people do it. Spending time in islands, forests, or meadows, despite the occasional lack of comfort, brought me satisfaction and wonder.

Estonia is a lovely country, full of lovely people. Despite not speaking eesti, they always made sure I wasn't left alone (until they realized I don't mind being on my own). The nature is very beautiful there, and the cities have a charm French ones don't. I didn't know what to expect with Estonian food; I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't all for me (I never was able to get used to black bread), but it was good. I was surprised by the variety of ice- creams flavors they have. And of course, I fell in love with their saunas. There's quite nothing like swimming in a fresh pond after basking in the sauna's heat, or being vigorously beaten with branches.

I came in Estonia after having some difficult times in France. I was feeling lost, small; I wasn't enjoying myself anymore. My stay in Estonia was a breeze of fresh air for me. I feel much better now, one month after the mission than I felt one month before.

I would love to come back to Estonia. I still want to travel more, to push myself further out and try new things. I'm not ready to settle, as long as I can afford not to, I won't.

Are you still reading this? If you are, thank you. Thank you for your patience, and your understanding. I hope spending time with me wasn't too much work. I'm still growing; most of the time, I feel more like a child than an adult. I haven't found myself yet. I will do my best to search and find my answers and at the same time have a positive impact on the people around me, and my environment.